FIFA, Rage and the cost of it!
FIFA. Just, FIFA. A word that can bring up a whole flurry of emotion in any man. Anger, disappointment, hatred, sadness, complete murderous rampage inducing pile of shit that makes you say things and do things that could see you sectioned. As most guys know the best and most popular mode on FIFA is ultimate team and every weekend there is a thing called FUT champions (girls if you don't play FIFA yourself this is also known as the thing that makes you boyfriend, son, brother turn in to the hulks bigger brother) you have to play 40 games over the course of the weekend so naturally at 5 minutes a half that's 10 minutes a game (if there are literally no pauses, no cut scenes, no celebrations, no stoppages of any kind) which is more likely going to be 15-20 minutes per game. 15 x 40 = 600 which means 10 hours, minimum! So when your setting aside 10 hours of your life to play FIFA, you can probably understand why we get pissed off when we lose to some shitty little 90th minute goal scored by Gary Cahill from 75 yards out!
So, basically, due to the rage inducing utter shite that is EA and FIFA in general, I may have a few choice words about my opponents mothers, which isn't really fair on them as my words are solely aimed at the shambles that is EA but I can't get a response from them. So after numerous amounts of abusive chats with opponents I got chat banned until January 2018, yes 2018! Which in itself is stupid but what is even more stupid is the fact I got another ban which I apparently said something to induce a ban on January 2nd 2017.... I was fucking banned until 2018 during this time, how in gods name am I meant to have pissed someone off without even talking!? So now I'm banned until June 2018... so for all the FIFA bullshit that has been and is still to come I say fuck you EA, your shit packs, your scripted bullshit, your handicap nonsense, you're auto passing, your 4000 rebound goals, your goalkeepers that may as well have no damn arms, fuck Jack Butland and Martial, your redicoulous 90th minute goals, your 45th minute cheeeeeese, your stupid system which allows people to see your kit, your lack of trading, your stupid price caps, banning those who buy coins to compensate for the disgrace of your packs! I'm sure there are more but I feel the inner Hulk trying to come out just talking about this shit!
So my games this week did not go that well, 24/40 one win off of gold 1... and for the first time ever I lost 6-0, 6 fucking 0 so I'm already raging, I'd love to know how he had Gullit, Ronaldo, Viera, Best and a horde of other ridiculously expensive players! They must have sold their first born to satan for that kind of luck or they sold their first born to a couple struggling to have a child to pay for the shear amount of packs needed for that kind of team... I'm not even slightly bitter... so I'm raging then into the next game, 2-0 it's all going well. 88th minute 2-1, it's cool I'm fine I got this, 90th minute 2-2 extra time. Right eye is twitching, fist is clenched, going to lose my mind. 120 minutes hits, final score 2-6................... I now have two broken fingers on my right hand, literally no knuckles, a cut on my forehead, a wobbly tooth and a dead leg, at least I didn't brake my 5th controller. Now I know some people will say "it's only a game why do you get so angry?" If you say this you are....
1) A cunt
2) Someone who never played FIFA in their life
3) Saying it to piss off your opponent (refer to point number 1)
4) Someone who does not even deserve to play FIFA
So without the amount of money I have spent on packs over the years (I don't even want to think about it) I will list off the things and cost of the things I have broken in my blind FIFA rage, call me whatever you want but I'm nothing if not passionate!
Xbox one/360/PS4 controllers = 10 (£50 per controller) = £500
TV remote = 1 (cheap but with its destruction, I split it in half like Qui-Gon Jinn, it destroyed volume control) = £10
Alarm clock = 1 (was late for work after this shit) =£10
Fan = 1 (middle of summer, stupid move) = £10
iTouch = 1 (I bit it in pure rage and it shattered) = £50 (for repairs)
Holes in the walls = 2 (threw a chair and a battery) £75 (bye bye deposit)
Taxi/bus trips to the hospital = 3 (mainly broken hand from punching the walls) = £40
Grand total = £695
I'm sure there are many more things but I can't remember or I mentally blocked them out due to the already nearly £700 rage mode bill!
Anyway I got 40 games to play, speak to you later!
Kieren
So, basically, due to the rage inducing utter shite that is EA and FIFA in general, I may have a few choice words about my opponents mothers, which isn't really fair on them as my words are solely aimed at the shambles that is EA but I can't get a response from them. So after numerous amounts of abusive chats with opponents I got chat banned until January 2018, yes 2018! Which in itself is stupid but what is even more stupid is the fact I got another ban which I apparently said something to induce a ban on January 2nd 2017.... I was fucking banned until 2018 during this time, how in gods name am I meant to have pissed someone off without even talking!? So now I'm banned until June 2018... so for all the FIFA bullshit that has been and is still to come I say fuck you EA, your shit packs, your scripted bullshit, your handicap nonsense, you're auto passing, your 4000 rebound goals, your goalkeepers that may as well have no damn arms, fuck Jack Butland and Martial, your redicoulous 90th minute goals, your 45th minute cheeeeeese, your stupid system which allows people to see your kit, your lack of trading, your stupid price caps, banning those who buy coins to compensate for the disgrace of your packs! I'm sure there are more but I feel the inner Hulk trying to come out just talking about this shit!
So my games this week did not go that well, 24/40 one win off of gold 1... and for the first time ever I lost 6-0, 6 fucking 0 so I'm already raging, I'd love to know how he had Gullit, Ronaldo, Viera, Best and a horde of other ridiculously expensive players! They must have sold their first born to satan for that kind of luck or they sold their first born to a couple struggling to have a child to pay for the shear amount of packs needed for that kind of team... I'm not even slightly bitter... so I'm raging then into the next game, 2-0 it's all going well. 88th minute 2-1, it's cool I'm fine I got this, 90th minute 2-2 extra time. Right eye is twitching, fist is clenched, going to lose my mind. 120 minutes hits, final score 2-6................... I now have two broken fingers on my right hand, literally no knuckles, a cut on my forehead, a wobbly tooth and a dead leg, at least I didn't brake my 5th controller. Now I know some people will say "it's only a game why do you get so angry?" If you say this you are....
1) A cunt
2) Someone who never played FIFA in their life
3) Saying it to piss off your opponent (refer to point number 1)
4) Someone who does not even deserve to play FIFA
So without the amount of money I have spent on packs over the years (I don't even want to think about it) I will list off the things and cost of the things I have broken in my blind FIFA rage, call me whatever you want but I'm nothing if not passionate!
Xbox one/360/PS4 controllers = 10 (£50 per controller) = £500
TV remote = 1 (cheap but with its destruction, I split it in half like Qui-Gon Jinn, it destroyed volume control) = £10
Alarm clock = 1 (was late for work after this shit) =£10
Fan = 1 (middle of summer, stupid move) = £10
iTouch = 1 (I bit it in pure rage and it shattered) = £50 (for repairs)
Holes in the walls = 2 (threw a chair and a battery) £75 (bye bye deposit)
Taxi/bus trips to the hospital = 3 (mainly broken hand from punching the walls) = £40
Grand total = £695
I'm sure there are many more things but I can't remember or I mentally blocked them out due to the already nearly £700 rage mode bill!
Anyway I got 40 games to play, speak to you later!
Kieren
Comments
Post a Comment